3. Writing (3)
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English Language
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1.
Question 2
The following text is from a newspaper article about a local community garden project.
'The vibrant community garden has blossomed into a true hub for local residents. What was once a neglected patch of land is now a thriving space where people of all ages come together to cultivate flowers, vegetables, and friendships. The project has not only beautified the neighbourhood but has also fostered a strong sense of belonging and shared purpose. Volunteers regularly host workshops, sharing gardening tips and fostering a spirit of collaboration. The garden provides fresh produce for local families and a welcoming environment for all.'
Assess how effectively the writer uses language to create a positive impression of the community garden project.
Model Answer:
The writer effectively employs positive language to create a favourable impression of the community garden project. Words like 'vibrant,' 'blossomed,' 'thriving,' 'strong,' 'welcoming,' and 'fresh' consistently evoke positive feelings and paint a picture of a successful and beneficial initiative. The use of imagery, such as 'blossomed into a true hub' and 'thriving space,' helps to engage the reader's imagination and reinforces the positive message.
The writer also uses persuasive techniques, such as highlighting the benefits of the garden – 'beautified the neighbourhood,' 'fostered a sense of belonging,' 'provides fresh produce' – to convince the reader of its value. The sentence structure is varied, with a mix of short, impactful sentences and longer, more descriptive ones, which maintains reader interest. The overall tone is enthusiastic and optimistic, contributing to the positive impression of the project.
Overall Grade Level: 5-7
2.
Question 3
The following is an extract from a short story.
'The old house stood on a hill overlooking the town, its windows like dark, empty eyes. A constant wind whispered through the overgrown garden, carrying with it the scent of damp earth and forgotten memories. Inside, dust motes danced in the faint shafts of sunlight that pierced the gloom. A single rocking chair creaked rhythmically in the corner of the room, a ghostly echo of a life long past. He hesitated at the doorway, a shiver tracing its way down his spine. He knew, with a certainty that chilled him to the bone, that he shouldn't enter.'
Assess how effectively the writer uses imagery and language to create a particular atmosphere in this extract.
Model Answer:
The writer uses vivid imagery and carefully chosen language to create a distinctly eerie and unsettling atmosphere in this extract. The description of the house – 'windows like dark, empty eyes' – immediately establishes a sense of foreboding. The sensory details, such as 'wind whispered,' 'scent of damp earth,' 'dust motes danced,' and 'creaked rhythmically,' engage the reader's senses and contribute to the overall feeling of decay and neglect.
The use of personification – 'wind whispered' – adds to the atmosphere of mystery and suggests a hidden presence. The language is deliberately evocative, employing words like 'gloom,' 'shiver,' 'chilled,' and 'certainty that chilled him to the bone' to create a feeling of unease and suspense. The short, fragmented sentences, particularly 'He hesitated at the doorway,' and 'He knew, with a certainty...', heighten the tension and draw the reader into the character's apprehension.
Overall Grade Level: 6-7
3.
Question 1
The following text is from a student's response to the prompt: 'Describe a time when you had to persuade someone to see your point of view.'
'I really wanted my parents to let me go to the concert with my friends. They said no because it was too late and they were worried about me. I tried to explain that we would be careful and that it was a really important event for me. I showed them the safety measures the organisers had in place and promised to check in with them regularly. It took a while, but eventually, they agreed. I was so happy!'
Assess how effectively the student communicates their ideas in this response. Consider the use of language, structure and organisation.
Model Answer:
The student's response demonstrates a generally effective communication of their experience. The language used is straightforward and accessible, making the narrative easy to follow. The structure is clear, presenting a chronological account of the situation and the student's attempts to persuade their parents. 'I really wanted...' and 'It took a while, but eventually...' effectively signal the student's motivation and the process of persuasion.
The student uses specific details, such as mentioning 'safety measures the organisers had in place' and 'promise to check in regularly', which adds credibility to their argument and strengthens their persuasive efforts. However, the response could be improved by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance engagement. While the organisation is logical, a slightly more developed introduction and conclusion could further enhance the overall effectiveness.
Overall Grade Level: 5-6