3. Writing (3)
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English Language
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1.
Consider the following two short texts:
Text A: "Hey! Just a heads-up – the meeting's still on for tomorrow at 2pm in the breakroom. Don't be late!"
Text B: "Dear Mr. Henderson, I am writing to confirm the details of our meeting scheduled for tomorrow at 14:00 hours in the designated meeting room. Your prompt attendance is appreciated."
Identify and explain the differences in register and purpose between Text A and Text B. Who is each text most likely addressed to and why?
Text A utilizes an informal register, characterized by colloquialisms like "Hey!" and "heads-up." The language is concise and direct, reflecting a casual and friendly tone. The purpose is to provide a quick reminder about a meeting, suitable for colleagues or friends. It is most likely addressed to someone with whom the writer has a familiar relationship.
Text B employs a formal register, using polite phrases such as "Dear Mr. Henderson" and "Your prompt attendance is appreciated." The language is more elaborate and adheres to standard business communication conventions. The purpose is to formally confirm a meeting and maintain a professional tone. It is addressed to someone in a position of authority or someone with whom a formal relationship is required. The difference in register directly reflects the different relationship between the writer and the intended recipient.
2.
Rewrite the following paragraph to suit a different audience. The original paragraph is written for a scientific journal.
Original Paragraph: "The observed phenotypic variation within the *Drosophila melanogaster* population under controlled laboratory conditions suggests a complex interplay of genetic and environmental factors influencing developmental pathways. Statistical analysis indicates a statistically significant deviation from expected Mendelian ratios, warranting further investigation into potential epigenetic modifications."
Rewrite the paragraph for a general science magazine.
Rewritten Paragraph: "Scientists studying fruit flies have discovered that the flies in a lab show a surprising range of differences in their appearance. This suggests that genes and the environment work together in complicated ways to control how the flies develop. The results show that the flies don't always follow predictable patterns, so researchers need to investigate whether something else, like changes to the genes themselves, is playing a role."
Explanation: The rewritten paragraph uses simpler vocabulary and shorter sentences, avoiding technical terms like "phenotypic variation" and "Mendelian ratios." It replaces scientific jargon with more accessible language, such as "fruit flies" instead of *Drosophila melanogaster* and "changes to the genes themselves" instead of "epigenetic modifications." The tone is less formal and more engaging, suitable for a general audience. The purpose is to convey the same scientific information in a way that is easily understood by someone without a specialized background.
3.
Question 1
The following text is from a student's response to the prompt: 'Describe a time when you had to persuade someone to see your point of view.'
'I really wanted my parents to let me go to the concert with my friends. They said no because it was too late and they were worried about me. I tried to explain that we would be careful and that it was a really important event for me. I showed them the safety measures the organisers had in place and promised to check in with them regularly. It took a while, but eventually, they agreed. I was so happy!'
Assess how effectively the student communicates their ideas in this response. Consider the use of language, structure and organisation.
Model Answer:
The student's response demonstrates a generally effective communication of their experience. The language used is straightforward and accessible, making the narrative easy to follow. The structure is clear, presenting a chronological account of the situation and the student's attempts to persuade their parents. 'I really wanted...' and 'It took a while, but eventually...' effectively signal the student's motivation and the process of persuasion.
The student uses specific details, such as mentioning 'safety measures the organisers had in place' and 'promise to check in regularly', which adds credibility to their argument and strengthens their persuasive efforts. However, the response could be improved by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance engagement. While the organisation is logical, a slightly more developed introduction and conclusion could further enhance the overall effectiveness.
Overall Grade Level: 5-6